Thursday, October 21, 2010

Why resting sucks!!

Apparently resting is no good.

During the season I had my share of problems. No big deal, you work through like everyone else. I had a couple weeks of down time planned before starting a training plan again. I wanted to do some light stuff, but nothing much. A couple light trainer rides and some jogging for fun. Nothing big, nothing hard, most importantly, nothing over 60 minutes!! Right off the bat, problems start hitting. And since one of my favorite hobbies is poking fun at myself, I thought I’d share.  "They called me Mr. Glass" Samual L Jackson - Unbreakable.

First, my Crohns flares again. Frankly I am getting tired of this annoying little disease. I don’t know what the problem is. My diet is fine, my health is fine. But this disease just won’t go back into remission. Called the doc, we’re increasing my other meds. Unfortunately that is more of a long-term solution. In the short term I have another call into him today because I’m irritated with the continual problems. I am aggressive by my nature and want to pound the disease into submission…even if that means a month or two on prednisone. I want to kick its ass back into remission and then keep it there!

Then I went to my Rheumatologist for a checkup. I have rheumatoid arthritis (caused by the crohns), but it has been under control for years. So this is just a formality with some blood work. I typically get worked up to see him because he nags me about my blood pressure. Apparently I was more than a little worked up. 150/100 – NOT GOOD!! I think he suspected I might have a stroke right there!  He made me promise to see my General Practitioner. CRAP!

Went and saw the GP, and we can add another med to the list. An ACE inhibitor which should not have an effect on athletics. Wonderful.

By the way, I hate medications. All medications have side-effects. They all screw with your body. I prefer a more natural approach. Unfortunately I don’t have much choice in the matter as my BP isn’t a diet thing, weight thing, or stress thing. It is most likely a genetic thing.

Third, I start running and my calves are tight. Not just a little tight…but really tight. The kind that doesn’t seem to warm up. I sleep with the boot, I stretch, I foam roll. Nothing seems to help. I don’t know what I was going to do about it because then I sneezed…and the FOURTH ailment to hit in a 2-week span is a strained lower abdomen. It was bad enough, and in a sensitive enough location to make me think I had a hernia. No joke. It was bad enough to get me back to see my GP 2 days after seeing him for my BP.
Doc, you are welcome, please enjoy your visit to the Cayman Islands on me!
“Haywood leads the league in most offensive categories including nose hair. When this guy sneezes he looks like a party favor!” - Major League.

The good news is my tight calves don’t have to run. I can’t run with my ab strain…I can hardly get out of a chair. What a wimp!!

What self respecting athlete sneezes and strains their abs? Seriously?! I can handle pain. With Crohns that comes with the territory, especially if I am ready for the pain. The abs hurt badly. I couldn’t sit or stand easily. Lying down or getting up – no good. Sneezing or coughing was like death. They still hurt and I can’t train at all. Once again my body’s way of making sure I rest.

There was a quote from the movie “Twins” with Ahnuld Schwarzenegger! It went something like this...the doctor was talking to Danny Divito and Ahnuld…I can’t remember the character names.

“Ahnuld you are perfect in every way. We took the best genetics from all of the donors and gave them to you.” *looks at Danny Devito* “And you were all the sh*t that was left over!!”  In case you're wondering I'm Danny Devito in that little depiction.

I’d like to take this time to thank my parents for giving me all the sh*t left over!! Does my sister have any of these problems…noooooo. Of course not!! She had to wear glasses, that’s about it. She always was the perfect little angel. @#!**#!

Allow me to list my ailments starting with the most severe and getting to just plain silly.
I have Crohns, high blood pressure, and rheumatoid arthritis. We’ll get those out of the way now.
I had bad eyesight requiring lasiks surgery.
I had 4 impacted wisdom teeth. Ouch!
I had a giant bunion on my right foot…that required surgery.
I had a hammer toe because the bunion – also needing surgery.
According to my wife I have poor hearing. (I think she mumbles)
My teeth required years of braces..almost a decade!!
Plantars warts - @#$!& pool decks.
My second toe is too long and buts up against my socks. It hurts.
Lastly…I’m balding.
The balding thing is really just spiteful. 
On the bright side I'm approaching 10 surgeries of some vareity.  At 10 I think I just become bionic and don't have to worry about this crap any more.

Thanks mom and dad!! You’re the greatest!  To their credit, I almost never get sick.  When I do catch something, it is gone in 24 hours or so.  That's a plus I guess.

Does that sound like the prototypical athlete to you? I say NAY! I think it sounds like someone that should be in a group-care facility. Perhaps a facility with a short yellow bus.  I think it’s a miracle I wake up some days. Haha. I’m surprised I’m a functioning adult and not hooked up to a machine clinging to life. (I guess the adult part is up for debate!)

If you can’t tell I’m a bit cranky. There is a good reason for that, today I decided it might be a good idea to go without my morning energy drink. I don’t really care for coffee, so I have a hot chocolate type drink with caffeine and guarana. It is probably worth 3 cups of coffee in one. Typically I only take it during the week anyway, not on weekends. But I thought with high blood pressure and all it may be a great idea to stop this drink and see how it impacts my BP.

I won’t go so far as to say that was a mistake on my part. I will however say I am shocked at how dependent I am on that morning drink. I have a headache, which is pretty rare for me. And while I have been very good about not having soda this week, I am quietly confident that I will be getting a bladder busting mountain dew shortly to make up for this.

A few weeks back I scolded Scott for this same thing. He however gave up on caffeine during his taper for IMWI. I can’t even imagine. If his withdrawal was anything like mine is now…no wonder he was a slobbering emotional mess…tapers suck with caffine. Don’t forget folks…caffeine is a drug like any other. Withdrawal SUCKS. So yes, I am crabby.

Anyway…this post is meant to be funny as one of my favorite hobbies is making fun of myself. Hopefully people take it as such. If you think I’m being a whining little baby…you don’t know me that well.

My training ramps back up in November.  Time to nurse myself back to health...and get used to this no caffeine thing.  blah!!  At least on the weekend I won't think about it.

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